3 Reasons Why You Need a “Midlife Moai”

What’s a “moai” you ask?

It’s a social support group of about five lifelong friends.

I learned of this concept through my study of the Blue Zones – the five areas of the world where people live the longest.

According to the Blue Zones, social connections have long-term impact on your health and happiness: “If you share similar values, healthy habits, and life goals, then you’re likely to experience less stress, be happier, and live longer.”

During the retreat I held recently, I realized how beautiful and healthy a “moai” could be and what it could look like.

I invited five clients to attend who I knew would be a great match and for five days, they shared a big 5-bedroom Vancouver house together, along with meals, laughs, cries, and everything in between.

Everyone got along so well that in the car on the way to an outing, one of the ladies brought up the idea of creating a “moai” of their own.

Even though everyone is located in various parts of the country, since the retreat we’ve maintained a group text, as well as a private Facebook group where we share wins, ask for support, and basically stay in touch in a meaningful way.

Have you considered being a part of a “midlife moai”?

If not, here are three reasons why I think it’s a must.

Reason #1:

In midlife, you need support from others going through similar things.

Sure, you might enjoy getting together with your 30-something friend, but she likely has kids or is at a different time of her life.

Yes, keep those younger friends, but women who are at a similar stage in life are going to provide a unique sort of empathy and perspective as you move through your midlife years.

Reason #2:

If you have a husband or a male life-partner, you will likely live longer than him.

You’ll need social support and friends you can call up and get together with.

What’s more, don’t wait until your partner passes before building these relationships.

Begin cultivating strong bonds now with midlife friends, and work to keep in touch even when it’s not convenient.

Reason #3:

We need emotionally healthy female friends.

You know the kind – the ones who truly want the best for you, the ones who will be there when you need them, and the ones who are emotionally capable of a healthy exchange of both giving and receiving.

Another emotionally draining girlfriend is the last thing you need.

Seek out healthy women – not perfect women (who is?) and not women who don’t have any problems (who doesn’t?) – but women who both value you and share your values.

So, it’s time to think about your current friends and perhaps do a little “decluttering.”

Make a list of your current buddies – How many of them are in midlife? How many of them are “emotionally healthy?”

Keep in mind that quality is better than quantity. You only need five in your “moai,” so be choosy.

More importantly, take a look in the mirror – are you “moai-worthy?”

Why would someone want you in their moai?

We all can work on being a better friend, a stronger support, and more consistent with our presence.

Today, think about what might be missing, both within you and around you.

What do you need?

What do you want?

What will you do?

P.S. If you’re looking to grow friendships with other midlife women, consider joining my free Facebook group “Me Time Midlife Community” that parallels my show “Me Time Midlife Podcast.” Learn more here.

 

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