Mastering the Fear of Failure
When you think of what you would like to accomplish in life, what comes to mind?
- Would you like to learn a new skill
- Change some bad habits
- Restructure a relationship that has become unhealthy?
And when you consider what is holding you back from bringing these desires to fruition, what is it? One of the biggest hindrances to positive change and transition in our lives is fear of failing, and this fear can be paralyzing.
You see, there is comfort in status quo. Even if our current situation is unhealthy or bad for us, it is at least familiar, and familiar is easier than changing.
When we are operating in the realm of the familiar, we know what the rules are. We know what is expected of us, others know what to expect of us and we can predict outcomes with reasonable certainty. This creates a kind of comfortable place, even though we may be miserable at the same time.
But if we try something new, we move out of comfort and predictability and into a realm where we do not know what to expect and where failure is a distinct possibility. So we reason, “Why put myself through all of that if I will probably fail anyway. I’ll just stay right here and save myself the trauma and the trouble.”
However, in the process of saving yourself a little trouble, you also save yourself a vibrant and fulfilling life. Trading the dynamic for the static leaves no room for growth, excitement or the thrill of reaching your full potential.
The secret is to master the fear of failure. And the best way to do this is to proactively change your mindset about failure—literally change the way you relate to failure. There is only one way to avoid failure, and that is to never attempt anything at all. But to never attempt anything is certainly not the definition of success. Rather, it is to barely exist.
I want more for you than that.
Truly successful people fail too—everyone fails now and then. But people who have mastered the fear of failure see their failures as valuable opportunities for learning.
Thomas Edison is a great example. It supposedly took him over 10,000 attempts before he was able to finally create a working light bulb. But his mindset did not allow him to see those 10,000 attempts as failures. Rather, in his words, “I have not failed at each attempt; rather I’ve succeeded at discovering another way not to invent an electric lamp.”
Mastering fear means that you know you are going to fail at some point, because no one can avoid failure at all times. But rather than paralyzing you, this realization energizes you and helps you dive into new ventures with a clear vision of reality and the encouraging knowledge that most successes have a few bumps and stumbles in their track records.
Yes, you will fail. But you will also succeed. You will fall, but when you do you will get up and keep moving forward. Just like Thomas Edison.
Face it
So what is the fear of failure holding you back from? Try this: face your fear. Just visualize what failure would look like. What will you do? How will you react? What will your next move be? What is your reboot plan?
By refusing to back down from your dream and by forcing that fear of failure to show all its cards, you turn the unexpected into the expected.
The frightening ‘unknown’ transforms into a recognizable and manageable ‘known’ and even ‘familiar’ situation. You make peace with the possibility of failure and in doing so, you diffuse its power to paralyze you.
Turn failure into your servant by forcing it to teach you, just like Thomas Edison, what not to do the next time. Make failure, and even the possibility of failure, serve you by making you more confident, give you more clarity, and make success a reality.
