Balance vs. Harmony

Coming up this week is Women’s International Day on March 8th. The theme this year is “Balance For Better.”

While the focus of the theme has to do with gender equality, I thought it’s also a great time for us women to also consider what the word “balance” might mean in other areas of our lives as well.

To me, “balance” doesn’t mean that we must distribute our time, energy, and focus equally across every responsibility – family, career, health, home, social, etc.

I mean, let’s face it, different times call for different amounts of our attention.

Caring for a parent who recently had a knee replacement or working overtime to complete a project before its deadline are examples of when we might spend extra time, energy, and focus on something specific at the cost of other things – because everything comes at a cost, right?

So then, maybe it isn’t so much about maintaining “balance” in our lives as it’s about creating “harmony.”

When it comes to balance verses harmony, we must consider these other two words: the urgent and the important.

The mistake I see frequently with the busy, ambitious professional is they often get used to putting their time and attention on the urgent things, while letting the important things slide so slowly that it’s almost invisible, until one day it finally catches up with you.

Don’t get me wrong, there are times for the urgent, times for the emergencies to take priority, but if we live in the urgent and continue to neglect the important, while feeling busier than ever, not only will our health and well-being take a turn, but we also find that we never quite get ahead or make progress the way we feel we should be with all the time and energy we’re expending.

In other words, we feel busy, but we’re not going anywhere.

If you’ve ever treaded water in the ocean or in the middle of the deep end of the pool, you’ll know how exhausting it is.

At least once a year, I ask my clients to complete an Urgent/Important Matrix, which I call “The 4 Quadrants Exercise.”

Here they’ll write out the activities they do on a regular basis that are:

Quadrant #1: Urgent & Important (i.e. crises, meaningful deadlines, emergencies, etc.)

Quadrant #2: Important, but Not Urgent (i.e. relationships, health, reflection and planning, etc.)

Quadrant #3: Urgent, but Not Important (i.e. interruptions, emails, meetings, etc.)

Quadrant #4: Not Urgent & Not Important (i.e. trivia, time wasters, busywork, etc.)

Quadrant #2 is where our core values usually lie – our health, family, relationships, and reflection and planning for example.

But what’s interesting is that while many women say that Quadrant #2 is the most meaningful to them, they tend to spend the least amount of time here.

Now, there are occasions where we want or need to spend some time in the other quadrants, sure, but again, we don’t want to live there – constantly putting out fires, continually treading water – trying to stay afloat but not going anywhere.

As we think about Women’s International Day this coming week, consider stepping back for a moment and evaluating where you are spending most of your time, energy, and focus.

Are you living too much of your precious life in Quadrants 1, 3, and 4?

If so, rather than trying to “balance” everything you do into equal parts across all four quadrants, think about how you can build small regular habits that will contribute to your Quadrant 2 activities.

When you think about it, maintaining a healthy body and cultivating meaningful relationships with the people we love, for example, are things that grow over time by constant, regular watering, as opposed to the occasional overpowering hose down.

In other words, a healthy body, a thriving career, and trusting and loving relationships are built bit by bit over time.

This is what I help my clients do – create and maintain “harmony,” not balance, across their lives.

I help them stay committed to the “Important, but Not Urgent” areas of their lives, because in the end, it’ll be what we’ve built in Quadrant 2 that we’re proud of, not how quickly we responded to emails.

So today, consider how you can build in small, consistent habits that will lead to a healthy, happy, and productive life – a life you look back at and are proud of.

Perhaps you begin to have a regular “date night” with your partner where you dress up and go out for a nice evening together.

Or maybe a regular time each day, week, or month that you catch up with your kids over the phone…

Or perhaps you meet your grandkids at the park every Saturday morning…

Or maybe you get together with a different girlfriend of yours once a week and do something fun.

On the health end, you might make Sundays your “food prep” day for the week…

Or you start taking five minutes every morning to loosen your body up by doing some stretching…

Or you put your work away (meaning your phone, laptop, etc.) by 8pm every night…

Or you might commit to filling up your large canteen of water every morning, taking it to work, and finishing it by lunchtime…

The list can go on and on…

This week, step back and reflect on where you are when it comes to not necessarily the word “balance,” but rather “harmony” in your current activities.

If you’re not taking nearly enough time, energy, and focus cultivating the “Important, but Not Urgent” things in your life, this is a great week to make a change.

Why this week?

Well, why not?

Come to think of it, I think it might be cool to look back someday and remember that you began creating a more harmonious life on the week of International Women’s Day in 2019.

A week to remember that you chose to course-correct and put your life and health back on track to what’s really important in the big picture… a week to tell your granddaughters about.

It’s your turn to take care of you,

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