Be the Change You Wish to See… in Yourself?

At the beginning of each year, I create a theme (usually a word or short phrase) that I use to guide my focus and intention that year.

A few years ago, I chose the theme “World Class,” meaning that I would approach everything I did with a world-class mindset – from how I showed up to work every day, to the way I connected with my clients, to the content I created for my community (you!), and so on.

Then, because I’m a quote junkie, I like supporting my annual theme with an appropriate quote, so the one I chose that year was:

“Picasso didn’t wait until he was Picasso to start performing like Picasso.”

 Meaning that he didn’t wait until he was the Picasso we all know before acting like he was; in other words, by acting as if, he became that.

And that was my hope with my theme that year – that if I started acting in a world-class manner in everything I did, I would begin to become world class in those things I desired to.

If you are not where you want to be yet when it comes to your health and well-being, I have a powerful story you must hear that involves this so-called “reverse-engineering” of your mindset, not unlike the “world class” example I shared with you.

Interestingly, it was my late grandpa who first introduced me to this idea, and now one of my clients is currently using it to get to her goal weight.

It may just work for you too. I hope it resonates.

Not unlike many (both women and men) who hit their midlife years, my grandpa’s lack of healthy lifestyle choices led to unwanted weight gain.

Thankfully, he understood how, especially for men, a large midsection (often referred to as a “beer belly”) was going to mean big health problems in his near future, so he decided to make a change.

He thought 180 pounds was a healthy and realistic weight for him to be at his time of life.

Then, I’m unsure where he got this idea (I don’t think he ever told me and I never asked), he got an index card and with a Sharpie wrote the number “180” on it and carried this card around everywhere he went.

Every time he reached in his pocket to grab his wallet or keys or some change, he felt the card he made and was reminded of “who” he aspired to become: a healthy, 180-pound man.

He didn’t stop there, though, because reminding yourself of who you want to become isn’t enough; action must be taken.

So what he did was, instead of asking himself every time he was reminded of his goal weight, “What do I need to change in order to reach my goal weight?”, he asked himself:

• “How would a 180 pound person act?”
• “What would they order at a restaurant?”
• “How would they eat at home?”
• “How many times a week would they exercise?”
• “What would their day/life look like?”

This is not unlike me asking myself a few years ago, “How would a World Class coach/partner/friend/professional/etc. do/act/be?”

And not unlike Picasso performing like Picasso before he “became” Picasso.

By way of the constant reminder of his handy index card and making the choices a 180-pound person would make, one day he stepped on the scale and watched as the dial stopped and pointed to 180.

YES, he did it!

By acting “as if,” he became just that.

I told this story to a client of mine who, coincidentally, also has the same realistic goal weight of 180.

It resonated with her so much that she recently texted me a picture of her 2018 Theme in big print taped to her bedroom wall “Don’t Talk About It, Be About It” right next to a paper she made with a big “180” on it.

She just started this quest, so you can imagine how eager I am to hear updates on our coaching calls.

But listen, I understand that perhaps who you “want to become” has nothing to do with weight.

Maybe instead, it’s about becoming a woman who takes time for herself. Then the question might be something along the lines of:

“What would the day/week/life of a woman who has regular self-care practices look like?”

Or perhaps it’s a woman who can say “No” and not feel selfish about it; so the question might be something like:

“What kind of self-confidence/self-worth would the woman who is able to say ‘No’ from time to time and not feel guilty about it have?”

Who knows?

When you start acting “as if,” before you know it, you could wake up one day at your goal weight like my grandpa…

Or a physically, mentally, and emotionally healthy woman who makes time for her self-care…

Or heck, even Picasso (okay, yeah, there’s only one Picasso!).

The exciting challenge then becomes to envision that healthy woman you want to become.

It’s important to be able to “see” yourself as vividly as possible as this woman.

Then, think about what she “does do” as opposed to what she “doesn’t do.”

For example, this healthy woman that you envision, what does she eat/drink for breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, etc.? (Not, what doesn’t she eat/drink, etc.)

Other questions you might consider could be:

What does her morning routine look like?

What about her evening routine? What time does she get to bed every night?

How many times a week does she exercise?

How much TV does she watch? How often and how long is she on social media?

How does she spend her time on the weekends?

What’s her self-talk like?

Now of course, there might be a big gap between the woman sitting in your chair right now and the woman you’re envisioning, not to mention we know how unsuccessful making too many changes (especially big changes) all at once is, so then what?

What you want to do is pick one area (not all of them – not even two areas, just one, preferably the one you’re most likely to be successful with) and begin acting “as if.”

As the famous Gandhi quote says, “Be the change you wish to see in the world;” here’s your chance to “be the change you wish to see in yourself.”

Because what better time than midlife to reinvent yourself?

It’s time for you to stop dwelling on where you’re not and start envisioning where you want to be.

It’s your turn to take care of you,

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