Get Rid of Punishing Yourself Once and For All

I hated striking out.

I mean literally striking out when I was at bat during my softball days back in high school.

After I struck out, I’d head back to the dugout and start to punish myself over and over until it was my time to bat again, which sometimes took several innings.

That’s a lot of punishing!

I’d sit on the bench and dwell about how I messed up, let the team down, and worst of all, let myself down. I’d say, “I should’ve swung at that perfect pitch down the middle!”

In addition to softball, I also played basketball in high school and then college.

Basketball is a very different sport than softball. It’s a fast paced game and there’s no time to wallow in self-pity when you miss a shot, turn the ball over to other team, or get scored on by your opponent.

There’s simply no time to dwell on the mistake you just made because you need to immediately play offense or defense as you are fully immersed in the action of the game.

What basketball taught me was to learn quickly from my mistakes and to get over it as soon as possible because if I don’t, it’s only going to spiral downhill from there.

I had a lot of practice doing this and now I help my clients do the same.

Here’s what I mean.

The same lesson of learning from your mistake, getting over it quickly, and moving on immediately can be applied to nutrition.

Will you ever eat something that you said you weren’t going to? Sure!

Will you ever eat a little (or a lot) more than you planned on? Of course!

Will that friend or family member ever pressure you into sharing a dessert when you are trying to reduce your sugar intake and you eventually give in?

You see where I’m going here…

…and you’re going to be disappointed in yourself.

When this happens, you have two choices:

• You can learn from it then let it go quickly and focus on a successful next meal (like in basketball),
• Or you can go back to the “dugout” and beat yourself up over it for the rest of the day.

I challenge you to fight the urge to punish yourself; instead, choose to forgive yourself quickly and move on.

“Do not let the shadows of your past darken the doorstep of your future. Forgive and forget.” –Rachael Bermingham

It will take time to cultivate this habit, but trust that it’s worth it if you want to continue to move forward toward your health and wellness goals.

Here’s a simple tip that might help you learn from your mistake and move on quicker: Change your “should’ve” to “could’ve”.

Let me tell you what I mean:

“I should’ve passed on the bread basket last night at the restaurant, but I didn’t” vs. “I could’ve passed on the bread basket last night at the restaurant, but I didn’t”.

Now, just changing your language obviously doesn’t change what happened, but it can change how you feel about yourself, and how you feel about yourself determines if you’ll continue to punish yourself OR learn the lesson and move on.

Go ahead and give it a try and see if it helps you forgive yourself and move on quicker.

In my case of striking out in softball, I would now say, “I could’ve swung at that perfect pitch down the middle, but I didn’t, but I’ll get another chance to bat soon.”

Isn’t that the case? You get another “at bat”.

I promise that punishing yourself doesn’t help you not make the same mistake as the last time. In fact, it encourages it because when we feel bad about ourselves, we tend to make poor decisions. It’s an awful cycle.

Instead, commit to embracing the journey, while keeping in mind that no one ever hit home runs without some strike outs along the way.

Every morning, before I start working, this is one of the quotes I read to remind myself of just this:

“Starting today, I need to forget what’s gone. Appreciate what still remains and look forward to what’s coming next.”

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