I Wish I Had the Courage…

Like I mentioned last week, this time of year causes me to slow down a little more and look within. I expressed my introspective mood this time of year and therefore wanted to dive deeper into the “Top 5 Regrets of the Dying” by going through each one by one for the next five weeks. My invitation is that you come with me on this journey and although my stories or examples may be different than yours, I hope that you take the time to think about your own life as it pertains to each “Regret.” What’s more, I hope you share your own personal thoughts, stories, and experiences as each of us brings a different perspective that we can all learn and grow from.

In case you missed it last week, here is the list of the “Top 5 Regrets of the Dying.” Today, we’ll focus on the first one.

1. “I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”
2. “I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.”
3. “I wish I had the courage to express my feelings.”
4. “I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.”
5. “I wish that I had let myself be happier.”

As Halloween approaches, kids and adults will dress up for fun and have a great time doing it. This year, the most popular costumes are supposed to be Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, pirates, and Star Wars to name a few. While Halloween is all in good fun, I can’t help but think about the imaginary masks and costumes we as women often put on in the name of making others happy.

Do you ever catch yourself thinking, “What does she/he think of me?” “Does she/he like me?” “I hope I don’t say something wrong because she/he might get the wrong impression of me.” You see, the first 26 years of my life were lived like this. I’m not saying that I don’t have these feelings now, because I surely do. I think most of us want to put our best foot forward and be liked. However, the first half of my life was lived to make others happy. In other words, during the first half of my life I sacrificed by catering to others’ needs, doing what others wanted me to do, acting as others wanted me to act, all in the name of wanting to be loved or at least liked.

In fact, that’s one of the reasons why I chose to work with women in their 50’s. I have found that many of my clients have spent the first half of their life living how they thought they were supposed to live. They spent their first half making every one else happy and tending to everyone else’s needs while often neglecting their own. But now that they have hit the mid-point of their life, they deeply desire to start taking care of their own needs and living the life they want to live.

Understanding what that’s like myself, it’s now my deep desire to encourage my ladies to discover who they are, who they still long to be, and what they want their life and health to look and feel like, in order to create a second half of optimal health and happiness. In turn, they will inspire other women to create a phenomenal second half of life as well. Caterina Rando, one of my newest mentors says, “Be yourself. It is the best way to go through life and it gives other women permission to do the same.”

When I began to accept and love myself for who I was when no one was around, I was able to be myself when others were around. That’s why the work must be done in quiet, alone, away from those we try to please on a daily basis. Like I always say, when we are alone, we are able to gain clarity on who we are and what we want.

Again, I think about the first regret of the dying: “I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.” For me, it was loving myself enough to be willing to do the work necessary to change my thinking and start living the life I felt I deserved to live – a life that was based on my own definition of happiness, a life on my own terms, even with all the challenges it might bring. The truth is that challenges don’t end. They’re a part of a personal growth journey that I believe is worth pursuing.

Today, I encourage you to take the week to reflect on what that means to you. In what way(s) have you been living a false life or a life on the outside that is not congruent to who you are on the inside?

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Please share with us in the comments below.

Next week, let’s dig deeper into the second regret of those dying, “I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.” See you then.

Come see me speak LIVE at the Southern California Women’s Health Conference & Expo on Friday, October 31st! Admission for the conference is FREE, but you must register for the workshops. Register for my workshop at 9:30am and then stay for the rest! You’ll find many topics on women’s health that you will enjoy. My talk will be “Look, Feel, and Perform At Your Best in Your 50’s”.

Register here: http://www.socalhealthconference.com/workshops

Your health and wellness coach in your 50’s,
Kim