Results Too Slow? 3 Things to Remind Yourself When You’re Discouraged

I remember an exercise science class I took in grad school.

We were discussing physical performance development in athletes in order to help them gain strength, power, agility, and speed through training out on the field, court, or weight room.

One of the biggest takeaways I got in all of grad school was that through the proper training, progress will come, however, we shouldn’t expect this progress to be linear, constantly and consistently seeing improvement each day.

Instead, progress, while moving linearly, doesn’t occur in a straight line; rather, it undulates.

While you might not be an athlete training for competition, the principle remains the same for you and your health goals.

With that in mind, if you’re feeling frustrated and discouraged about your lack of progress, consider understanding and then constantly reminding yourself of these three very important truths.

If you’ve been working hard to eat healthier, exercise more regularly, lower your stress, and/or get better quality or quantity of sleep, you must understand that you’re not going to see positive results all the time.

This is why we have to cultivate our intrinsic, as opposed to our extrinsic motivation.

Intrinsic motivation refers to actions that are driven by internal rewards.

For example, we might choose to eat healthier first for the purpose of feeling proud of ourselves for making a healthy choice – it reinforces the fact that we value our health and body, and this feeling alone brings us pleasure and satisfaction.

Extrinsic motivation, on the other hand, refers to actions that are driven by external rewards.

For example, if we choose to eat healthy solely for the purpose of losing weight, we’re likely to get disappointed when we made healthy choices all day or all week and we don’t see the scale going down.

One of the most common reasons why I see people quit is because it’s not happening quickly enough.

In other words, “I’m putting the effort in, but I’m not seeing the same degree of results.”

So two things: again, we must remind ourselves frequently that positive results do not happen in a straight, linear progression.

Instead, it’s going to undulate, yet move in the direction of progress if we continue our healthy habits and behaviors.

Then, we must find a place to put the discouragement, frustration, and weariness that often accompanies putting the effort in without seeing continual results, which is going to require us to cultivate our intrinsic motivation.

For example, you might have this conversation in your head:

“I’m tired and I’m frustrated with my lack of results. Why should I make the effort to go to the gym today?”

Here’s where you remind yourself:

1. That progress undulates – You might respond to yourself by saying: 

“I can’t expect to see results when I want to see them. They’re going to happen in their own time.”

2. To strengthen my intrinsic motivation – Then you might add:

“If I’m going to keep this up, I have to find other reasons (besides weight loss) to motivate me to continue, like the fact that I feel so much better after exercise, I’m always glad I did it, and I like the feeling of strength, confidence, and accomplishment that follow completing a challenging workout.”

3. Trust the process – Lastly, you might tell yourself:

“I trust that if I keep this healthy habit up, I will see the results I hope for.”

Finally, remember that discouragement and frustration are part of the process of any change you’re trying to make.

I find that it helps to recall times in your past when you kept going even though it was tough, and you’re glad you did because the results finally did come at some point.

Maybe it was a college class you had to struggle through or a relationship with someone you care about that took time to work on.

I believe that one of the great gifts of midlife is that you can look back at your triumphs and victories and use them as stepping-stones to help you move forward in your current endeavors.

My hope for you today is that if you have a good habit or behavior going, keep it going by trusting that you will look back someday and be glad you did.

It’s your turn to take care of you,

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