The Lie We’re Often Told As Young Girls
Whether we were told, learned by example, or both, the message often relayed to us as young girls (sometimes subtly and sometimes powerfully) and carried throughout the generations is that we should put everyone’s needs before our own and make sure everyone else is taken care of before we take care of ourselves.
This is the trap that I discovered many of my clients had fallen into. They were living and running on “empty” for as long as they could remember, and it ultimately leads to unhappiness and dissatisfaction.
If you believe that it sounds selfish to love yourself, I want to challenge you to take the first step to believing that it’s not selfish to love yourself. I understand that sometimes it’s easy to understand this intellectually, yet it can be harder to implement. However, if you want to make this change, be patient, gentle, and forgiving with yourself as you go through this process. Believe that it’s not selfish to say, “Your needs are important, but my needs are just as important too.”
What happens when you start putting your needs right up there with everyone else’s? You start taking care of yourself. You start making decisions that empower you. You start making choices that serve you. Your relationships grow deeper and your health starts to improve.
If you’ve been neglecting your health because you’ve been putting other’s needs before your own for as long as you can remember, I urge you to start scheduling time in for you to receive. Why schedule it in? Because what gets scheduled gets done. Taking small steps to beginning to refocus on your needs will help fill your well again and it won’t feel like such a big change if you just take one small step.
Work toward a goal of scheduling in some “Me Time” once a day, even if it’s just for a 10-minute walk outside. Then, begin to gradually include more healthy activities that you would enjoy.
Are you ready to start filling your well again and in turn improving your health?
If so, what one step are you willing to take to believing it’s time for you to start putting your needs right up there with everyone else’s? And what one thing will you schedule in for “Me Time” this week?
I’m excited and honored to share with you that I was named Innovative Woman of the Week by Today’s Innovative Woman! You can see my interview here. Thank you for being part of my journey; I appreciate you!
Your health and wellness coach in your 50’s,
Kim
For years I put others’s needs ahead of my own. Whether it was pushing myself to do more errands than I was physically able to do, or be there emotionally for someone when I was fried and in need of some restoration myself. Finally it caught up with me, right before I turned 50 and I had a health scare that no MD could diagnose. It took an acupuncturist to tell me that I had depleted my body’s reserves and was long past running on empty. It was an eye-opening moment for me.
Thanks for sharing, Heidi. We think of a car and how when it runs out of gas it’s unable to move anymore. However, WE often keep pushing ourselves long after we’ve depleted our energy. It’s important to continue to “fill” your well everyday – even if it’s just one small thing you do to receive. I’m glad to know that since then you have been, Heidi 🙂
This is very true. It isn’t until your children leave home and your workload reduces when you realise that you have neglected yourself for all those years. One of the things I love about being older is that you get your ‘me time’ back and have the time to make yourself a priority for a change. I believe we need to teach our daughters to be a little bit selfish. Great article Kim!
Yes, Kathy. I think the important point you made here is that you have to make time and make yourself a priority for a change. Thanks for sharing your insight, Kathy!
Great article, Kim. Yes, why are women so used to being last on the list? I like what you said about just choosing one thing like a 10 minute walk. I think we feel so overwhelmed it’s hard to be clear on how to start. I have had my new yoga mat still in its’ wrapper for over a year! I finally signed up for a month of yoga after all this time. Ha Ha!! It’s so much easier to keep putting off what we need to do to become what we ultimately want to be. Life is certainly a journey!! Thanks for the reminder….
Thanks, Melissa. Like you said, it can be overwhelming when we sometimes see how far we NEED to go to get where we want to be, but big change doesn’t happen overnight. It’s those little daily steps that get us there! Thanks for sharing and I’m glad to hear you’ll be using your new yoga mat!