When Was the Last Time?

I sit right now and write to you in a zombie-like state. I can still smell the lavender and mint that is pulsating off my body like perfume. I’m in complete and utter relaxation. If you’re wondering, I just got home from a massage. Every time I walk out of my massage therapist’s room, I feel as if I just came home from a weeklong vacation in Bora Bora. I still feel like that now.

The truth is, I used to be more diligent about my massages, but just like many good habits we all have, if we aren’t mindful, they can sometimes slowly slip away. But after a massage, I always think, “Why don’t I do this more often?!” If you enjoy massages like I do, you can probably relate.

I was prompted to schedule this massage immediately after I returned home from my retreat with my mastermind group. To give you a quick background on the individuals in my mastermind, each one is some sort of health and fitness professional. Some own fitness studios, some are trainers, and some are coaches, like myself. The commonality is that we all help people improve their quality of life by helping them get healthier. We meet twice a year to connect live as we’ve done for the past several years.

We have a blast; however, I wouldn’t call our “retreats” relaxing. The entire weekend we sat in a conference room at the Double Tree with our pens and journals as we brainstormed ideas and solutions while giving each member time to talk about his or her personal and professional life. It’s an extremely rewarding experience to be amongst some of the brightest minds and passionate human beings, but something different came up this retreat that I want to address.

As I listened to my peers stand up and share their heart with us one by one, there was an obvious and common theme that was being voiced. I heard this more than I liked to hear it: “I’m the fittest, but unhealthiest person I know.” I know what you’re thinking, this shouldn’t be coming from a health and fitness professional, but unfortunately it did.

The truth is that we are ALL trying to balance life, work, family, relationships, friends, and health, whether you are a health and fitness professional or not. Sometimes it’s easy for us in the field of health and wellness to make sure we’re taking care of others, but sometimes we take the focus off of ourselves.

I’m happy to say that I have a pretty good balance of work and rest, but I scheduled my much-needed massage anyway and I’m so glad I did, because if I’m not at my best, then I’m unable to offer my clients my best. I have to take care of myself so that I can mindfully listen to each of my clients – to what’s being said and to what’s not being said, and this requires that I give them my full and undivided attention. I can only do this if I am healthy and rested.

Yet, it did get me thinking about you. I wondered how you are doing when it comes to work and rest. When I think of work, I think of “giving.” When I think of rest, I think of “receiving.”

When was the last time you “received?”

Since I sit in front a computer a lot, my neck and upper back tend to get tight. So for me, I needed to “receive” a massage. For my mastermind peers, some needed a vacation. Others needed a change to their schedule that would allow them to get more sleep.

If you find yourself constantly giving and not receiving in your life, you’re going to break down eventually. Everything will suffer, from your productivity at work, to your relationships, to your health. Each area of your life is important, but they are all connected. The good news is that if you start taking more time for YOU, then all of those areas will improve as well.

What would you say your “giving” to “receiving” ratio is?

Today, list out all the ways that you give, whether that’s cooking meals for your family, working long hours at your job, taking care of an elderly parent or family member, etc.

Then, list out all the ways you receive, whether that’s getting a regular massage, spending alone time each day or week with a good book, sitting through an entire movie without feeling guilty, etc.

Which list is longer? Granted, each area carries a different weight, but it’s a powerful exercise to write something out and actually “see” all that you’re doing for others and all that you’re doing for yourself.

If you are like most of my clients, you probably are giving more than receiving. You are probably working (in some way) more than resting.

Today, I challenge you to think of one way you will “receive” this week. Maybe you need to subtract something from your “to-do” list or delegate it out. Maybe you need to reach out to that positive friend you haven’t seen in awhile and receive some positive energy. Maybe you need to tell your spouse that you don’t feel like cooking tonight and you’d rather go out to dinner. Maybe you head home early one day this week and indulge in a good movie and a glass of wine. Or maybe you need to schedule that massage like I did.

Whatever it is, I want to hear it. Comment below and tell me how YOU are going to RECEIVE this week.

Your health and wellness coach in your 50’s,
Kim