Why Did I Work So Hard?
Let’s continue our journey together as we enter the second week of our five-part reflection on the Top 5 Regrets of the Dying.
- “I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”
- “I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.”
- “I wish I had the courage to express my feelings.”
- “I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.”
- “I wish that I had let myself be happier.”
I often work with clients who “know what to do but have a hard time doing it.” In other words, they know that the key to lasting health is changing their daily habits. That means eating fresh, whole foods as often as possible, exercising regularly, getting plenty of quality sleep, and maintaining low chronic stress in their life. What’s more, they know that carrying around a positive and optimistic mindset and mood will also move them toward making these lasting changes that lead to a happy, healthy, and fulfilled life.
There are two areas I want to pull out and highlight today – getting plenty of quality sleep (7-9 hours is optimal!) and maintaining low chronic stress in your life. When I ask the ladies that I work with about why they may not be getting enough sleep and why they’re carrying around so much stress, it’s usually because they are working too hard.
There’s no doubt that we Americans pride ourselves on how hard we work, but at the end of our life, is it really something we want to be proud of? Remember, it ranks second on the list of the Top 5 Regrets of the Dying, so why are we working ourselves to death?
I’m not just talking about the 9 to 5 job that you’ve been working at for the past two decades. I’m talking about ALL the other responsibilities that you have in addition to the 9 to 5. Some of you are taking care of an elderly parent. Others still have an adult kid at home who hasn’t flown from the nest yet. And many of you are not only full-time employees, but you are also full-time wives. It’s A LOT to handle. Throw grandkids in there and life can be even busier!
No wonder you have a hard time winding down before bed. No wonder you toss and turn. No wonder you wake up at night with a tired body but an active mind. No wonder you often find yourself being short with your co-workers or husband. No wonder you are burnt out and overweight. Your cortisol levels are high from lack of quality sleep and high stress. Consequently, your body holds on to fat and you’re left feeling frustrated on top of everything else you’re feeling.
Ladies, the purpose of this series on regrets of the dying is for each one of us to stop, take a deep breath, and examine ourselves. We all know that we could be doing better in different areas of our lives. However, what I don’t want you to think is that you’re not doing enough. You are doing enough. Again, you are doing enough. What you don’t need is one more thing to worry about and one more area of your life that you need to start “working” on. Thinking that you need to take on one more thing probably makes you feel even more overwhelmed than you already are.
Rather, my suggestion to you today is to do the opposite of taking one more thing on. Instead, consider eliminating one thing. You may say that you simply cannot eliminate anything from your day to day life, “It’s all important, Kim! People are counting on me and they need me!”
I’d like us to pan back for a moment and remember the second regret of the dying “I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.” As we enter the final week of October 2014, take some time this week to write and reflect on a few areas of your life:
– List out every single role (big or small) you currently have (examples could be: wife, mother, colleague, friend, caretaker, business owner, sister, volunteer, etc.)
Next, realize that you can’t be everything to everybody. If you try to do a great job at every role, you end up doing a poor job at every role. Instead, you want to focus only on a few roles at time. It doesn’t mean that roles that are not important now won’t be important later. Understand that your top roles can change. The point is that you can’t focus on every one of them and expect to do a great job.
– Limit your roles down to the six most important right now. Take your list of ALL the roles you have (was that eye-opening or what?!) and now, choose only six of those roles that you will focus on in November AND do a really great job at.
Finally, I want to encourage you to remember that while others may need you, you need you too. I hope you take some time to receive and give to yourself this month by working through the questions I posted above. No regrets!
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. Please comment below and share your Top 6 roles with us!
Your health and wellness coach in your 50’s,
Kim
